My Eyes

I believe that the eyes are the window to the soul. And I will admit that I am fascinated by peoples eyes. I will also admit that I am fascinated by my own eyes. I tend to try and hide my feelings, even from myself. I have become very good at tricking myself into thinking that I am perfectly OK all of the time. But, when I look into my own eyes, I can see how I truly feel. And when I look into other eyes I can tell what they are feeling. Eyes are so amazing! My goal for everyone that reads this is: Actually look people in the eyes. Especially when you are talking to them. You will be amazed at what you can learn.

When I grow up...

Good news!! I totally know what I am going to do with my life.. I am going to become a dental hygienist! And I am so excited. I start school this spring at good ol' UVU. I cant wait to get started, and honestly.. the thought of puting my fingers in other peoples mouths does not gross me out at all.. I love it.. And I am so so so excited!!

My worst fear

I have been told that when people think of me they always think of a smiling face, and someone who is always happy. But you know.. underneath this crooked smile, my heart is breaking. Somedays I just wonder why life is so hard, and why I keep pushing myself to be better. Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? Does anyone even notice that I try? If I gave up, would any one be there to help me pick up the peices of myself? I found the quote that you see above, and it fits exactally with what I have been thinking. I guess what I want more than anything right now is to have someone that I know will be there all the time. I know I will always have my family, but I am craving something else. I want a best friend. I want someone that I can share all of my secrets with. Someone that I can call at 2 in the morning and just cry to them on the phone. Someone that I can love with all of my heart, and then, to have them, love me back with all of thier heart. Like the lyrics to a Nickelback song: nobody wants to be the last one there. 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares. Someone to love with my life in their hands. There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

Guess you could say that my worst fear in life is that no one will ever want me.