I was talking to a friend today and they asked how I was doing... and honestly right now, I have a lot going on, but I am super happy. I feel super content. But, one thing that has been on the back of my mind, is how I don't want my past to become my future.
I have had a rocky past. I have been hurt, I have trusted and loved and I have been lied to and torn apart. And its super hard for me to let go of the past and realize that it was the past. People are not all the same. Everyone is different. The people in my life now, are not going to treat me the same way that people in the past have.
I guess I can liken this to the scriptures. We will all be punished for our own sins and not for Adams transgressions. So, why should I hold something against someone that someone else did..
Ha ha.. I don't know if this is making sense.. but I could sum it up with.. I am trying. I promise. Yeah, I am scared, but I am working on it. Please be patient with me.
Friday, January 2, 2009
So... This year has been a big learning year already. And yes.. it is only Jan 2nd.
New years day at about 5 am.. I learned that honesty might hurt.. a lot. But, its always the correct choice. Some times the truth can cut you to the core. It can keep you up at night, make your stomach hurt. Make you loose your appetite, but the right choice still. The hardest part is stepping out of the situation, and seeing what a blessing it really was.
Jan 1st at 10:30 pm I learned that I am a Daughter of God. That I am priceless beyond words and that I can say no. I learned that I need to have enough respect for myself to stand up and say what I know is right, with out fear of the consequence. I learned that people love me more than I will ever know, and they would gladly stand up and fight for me, or with me.
And over the course of these few days I have learned that my Heavenly Father has some big plans for me. He is trying to teach me some things about myself. And trying to prepare me for what is coming. It has been an emotional roller coaster. (I'm sure some of the emotions are due to the fact that in three days I have only gotten 13 hours of sleep. 7 of which were last night.) And this year has already taught me that friends and family are irreplaceable, and without them and the lord... we will not make it through.
Looks like 2009 is going to be a year of refinement.... So watch out everyone.. I am a diamond in the making.