My Eyes

I believe that the eyes are the window to the soul. And I will admit that I am fascinated by peoples eyes. I will also admit that I am fascinated by my own eyes. I tend to try and hide my feelings, even from myself. I have become very good at tricking myself into thinking that I am perfectly OK all of the time. But, when I look into my own eyes, I can see how I truly feel. And when I look into other eyes I can tell what they are feeling. Eyes are so amazing! My goal for everyone that reads this is: Actually look people in the eyes. Especially when you are talking to them. You will be amazed at what you can learn.

When I grow up...

Good news!! I totally know what I am going to do with my life.. I am going to become a dental hygienist! And I am so excited. I start school this spring at good ol' UVU. I cant wait to get started, and honestly.. the thought of puting my fingers in other peoples mouths does not gross me out at all.. I love it.. And I am so so so excited!!

My worst fear

I have been told that when people think of me they always think of a smiling face, and someone who is always happy. But you know.. underneath this crooked smile, my heart is breaking. Somedays I just wonder why life is so hard, and why I keep pushing myself to be better. Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? Does anyone even notice that I try? If I gave up, would any one be there to help me pick up the peices of myself? I found the quote that you see above, and it fits exactally with what I have been thinking. I guess what I want more than anything right now is to have someone that I know will be there all the time. I know I will always have my family, but I am craving something else. I want a best friend. I want someone that I can share all of my secrets with. Someone that I can call at 2 in the morning and just cry to them on the phone. Someone that I can love with all of my heart, and then, to have them, love me back with all of thier heart. Like the lyrics to a Nickelback song: nobody wants to be the last one there. 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares. Someone to love with my life in their hands. There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

Guess you could say that my worst fear in life is that no one will ever want me.

Your Head and your Heart

So close together but in reality so far apart

For my heart says go and never look back

My head says no, be wary and wise

For where there is love, there is always lies

Your head and your heart......

So close together, yet so far apart.

Paige 9/22/08

My Family

For my first post I am going to show off my family. They really are the greatest family in the entire world. We are all close and we all watch out for each other. Yes, I am the only daughter. I have two older brothers and two younger brothers. I am one protected girl and I love it. I also love being the middle child.

My parents are the greatest parents a person could ask for. I can honestly say that in the 22 years that I have been on the earth I have never seen my parents fight. They are the best examples to me and I don't know how I would make it with out them. I love them more than words can describe.

My oldest brother Kamrun is now 27. He has always been there for me. Any time I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. He is pretty stubborn and he does not like to change very often. But really.. who does.

Colter is next in the family, and is 25 years old. He is engaged to the cutest girl ever, Lacee. Colter is going to become a Daddy in November and the whole family is super excited. Aybrie Allen is going to be the first grandchild. (Sorry Colter if I spelled her name wrong) :)

Lane is 18 and he is incredibly athletic. His whole life revolves around sports and what one he is going to play next, or whatever one is on TV next. Lucky for him, he is a natural. He excels at whatever sport he tries.

Darin is 13 and he is the sweetest guy ever. His future wife is going to be spoiled. He always makes sure that every one else is taken care of and good to go. But, I will admit that he is a space case and sometimes he forgets everything, including where he is going and how he is going to get there. :)

Well, that is my family. I would not trade them or change them for all of the money in the world. I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world that I get to be in their family.

I love you all!! Thanks for being so great!!